Fear

I asked my girlfriend the other day, "What are you most afraid of?"

She said death.

She didn't ask me what I am most afraid of though, so I didn't tell her. I did tell her what my ideal funeral and last rites are though, but perhaps I shouldn't reproduce it here in case some officer from the nuts house is reading this. Well it is campy, and flamboyant, just like me.

I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid of the fear of death, which prevents my debt-ridden family from pulling the life-sustaining tube.

I am afraid that I'll be afraid of being honest.

I am afraid that I'll be afraid of losses, afraid of heartaches and tears.

I am afraid that I'll be too afraid to trust, to trust that I can fall and not land on the ground hard.

I am afraid that I'll be too afraid to have faith. In myself. In others.

I am afraid of myself, because I can be cowardly, sometimes if not most of the times.

My greatest fear is fear itself.