Excuse me, are you a racist?

This is a true question someone asked me. Ok not exactly. He asked, "Are you a racist?"

I was 17 years old, and was still wearing my secondary school uniform in junior college. My immediate reaction was "HUH?", because I couldn't fathom why would anyone say yes to this question.

Let me explain the background. I was talking to an ex-classmate who got posted to the junior college opposite the road, and he was bitching about his CT rep, "I can't stand my CT rep, she is Indian! I am more ok with Malays though."

I was flabbergasted. He was a friendly and generally nice chap. The kind of guys whom I enjoy hanging out with, but wouldn't date, if you get what I mean. Nope, I didn't know that I was queer back then.

He was from a SAP school. (No, not that one next door, in case you are wondering.)

Now, I do not think that SAP schools churn out students who are more racist, but being in a predominantly Chinese environment cause them to be less sensitive about what they shouldn't say or do. I would be deluding myself if I say that racial segregation did not happen in my alma mater. It is a fact that it did (and probably still does), but we all knew what are the things that can't be said, no matter what you think deep down inside.

This reminds me of what my English teacher commented on my essay in secondary two. I wrote something along the line of racial discrimination doesn't exist in Singapore and I am thankful for that. How naive. She wrote in red ink, "Unfortunately, discrimination happens everywhere."

A sense of shock gripped me when I read that comment she wrote. She is a very intelligent and articulate Indian woman, and probably got her share of discrimination. I am so grateful that she didn't assume I was too young to understand anything, and pointed out my naive perceptions. That statement changed how I view minorities and their rights in society, forever.

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When I was in secondary four, I did a survey about attitudes towards different races. (Actually I prefer the construct of ethnicity, but this will do for now.)

There were many questions, asking the participants whether they are fine with their friends/ neighbours/ teachers/ doctors/ colleagues etc being of other races. We were supposed to rate it from the scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being completely not ok and 5 being completely ok. 3 would be neutral.

I breezed through most of the questions, circling 5s rapidly.

Finally the last two questions:

Are you fine with a family member marrying someone of other races?
I thought for it for a while, and went, "Hey why not? It is his/ her happiness, not mine." And I circled 5.

Are you fine with it if your partner or spouse is someone of other races?
I hesitated. After struggling with it for a moment, I circled 3.

I thought I am totally not racist, now I am not so confident anymore.

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It is not about being politically correct. It is not about sweeping everything under the carpet. It is not about wearing cheong sam/ sarong kebaya/ sari on Racial Harmony Day and take pictures.

It is about awareness and dialogue. Being aware of what you actually think and feel, with the freedom and space to discuss and articulate them.

Don't be afraid to talk about racism. If we can't talk about it, we can't make things better.

And who is up for watching Trick or Threat? :)